And the waiting begins....

Thanks for your prayers!! I went to my test really calm. On the drive over I listened to some worship music and spoke to my family. After I got to the building, I walked around to stretch and work out any nerves. I saw my mentor Clay and got encouragement from him too.

I choose to do the ethical interview first since that's what I was most concerned about. It went fine. It wasn't a breeze but I feel like I was able to show that I have critical thinking and judgement skills which is the point. I thought it would all be downhill from there.......and it seemed like it was but not in the way I had hoped. It's all taped so the timeframe is set, unlike a real situation where I can control the time I have to interpret. There was some overlapping speech/sign but I had experienced that during my practice so I tried to not let it fluster me. The first two segments weren't too bad but the third was a doozey!! I really struggled to understand the ASL and be able to put out something coherent. It was a long section too! There are breaks in between all five of the performance sections so I tried to gather myself and psych up for the last two. I had trouble fingerspelling simple words and I'm sure it was because I felt awful about the previous section. So I decided to use a sign rather than fingerspell that word and then there was another word that I had to fingerspell and it came out well.....I actually thought as I was doing it that I hoped it came up again so I could spell it to show I do know how to fingerspell! The last segment was a little struggle too.....some signs I didn't recognize but I think I got the main points across although I did mess up a time marker and put something in a different tense in English.

Honestly, I was quite disappointed in myself when I left. I really didn't stress that it was a test and sometimes I think I might have done other things good enough to show I know enough/have enough skill to be certified and that I'll pass. But really regardless of whether or not I pass, I didn't feel it was my best performance and I was disappointed that I didn't do better. There were some interns there playing volleyball when I got done and the test administrator wanted me to go join them but I just needed some time to be alone. So I left and had a good cry.....I think some of it was just stress relief and some was just sadness that I've been doing so well and then didn't feel like I exhibited that on the test.

Later I had conversations with my roommates and found out they all struggled with the same piece I did. So that was encouraging and makes me think maybe it was the overly difficult piece that was added to see what we can do and how we handle it. I also realized that I didn't understand the topic of that piece, which really just makes it very difficult, almost impossible to interpret. So I'm a little encouraged that even though it didn't make sense to me, maybe what I put out made more sense to someone who understands the topic. (If that makes any sense to you!)

I do feel like I kept my composure during the test and didn't show that I was struggling or disappointed. Now I just wait and see. It will probably be 3-4 months before I get the results. Regardless of whether or not I pass, I will still be able to work and have been getting calls this week for jobs on my return. I have time to take the test again if necessary and still meet my deadline of being certified before June 2012. I've learned tons and improved so much so my time here has still been worthwhile.

Today is "graduation." Not sure what to expect as they have been pretty secretive about it. Then tomorrow I FLY HOME!!!!! I can't wait!!!! I haven't seen Amanda, Mom, Beth & her family, any of my friends, or my sweet doggies since I left!